Thursday, July 28, 2011

NEW "Charleston Barbies"

Happy Thursday everyone.  My good ol' friend Allison sent me this in an email this morning and I got such a kick out of it.  If you aren't familiar with Charleston, then this probably won't mean anything to you...but those of you who do...hope you enjoy!

Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Charleston, South Carolina market.
“ Daniel Island Barbie”
This princess Barbie is sold only at specialty stores in Daniel Island . She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version. 
"West Ashley Barbie"
The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with a Minivan, matching gym outfit and 2 children. Traffic jamming cell phone and soccer bags sold separately.
"Ladson Barbie'
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills)...unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about. 
 
Mt. Pleasant Barbie”
This Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.
"Goose Creek Barbie"
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud Light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free. 
 
Downtown Barbie”
This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Percocet prescription available as well as warehouse conversion condo. Sold only at Charleston Place .
North Charleston Barbie”
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Ridgetop Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile home.
Sullivan’s Island Barbie”
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow . She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Sullivans Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.
Crosstown Barbie”
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.
Summerville Barbie”
She's perfect in every way. We don't know where Ken is because he's always out a-'huntin'. 
Remount Road Barbie/Ken”
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts. 
       


Isn't this hilarious?  Do yall agree?  Hope you all enjoyed this as much as I did.  Thanks for sharing Allison.  Hope yall are having a great week.  

PS: The Countdown to my SC Vaca is only 4 days!!!!!

RG

6 comments:

  1. Ahhh, I love it! I'm not even familiar with Charleston but this CRACKED ME UP!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'd say I'm vaguely familiar with these places and this was sooo funny! Wish I could find something similarly funny for my town! I'll take the Mt. Pleasant barbie please :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Where oh where is James Island barbie!?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hahahahahaha this is hilarious. My friend is from Mt. Pleasent-so on target. Sullivan's Island barbie is without a doubt my favorite, hilarious. Thanks for sharing! Congrats on your engagement!!! Virginia

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm with Laura, WHERE is the James Island Barbie? Folly Beach Barbie? John's Island Barbie? Kiawah Barbie? Seabrook Island Barbie? They are part of Charleston too.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Crosstown Barbie is definitely off. She would be a college student! Her boyfriend rides a skateboard around town including wrong way down one way streets and they start partying on Thirsty Thursday and have had to pay fines for noise violations at 3 am. Their rental will not be renewed in April when the big changeover for college is because the owner of their pad has been fined also for their behavior. The owner would evict now but he wouldn't get as much rent as during demand season so he is sucking it in and waiting to keep the deposit and get rid of them at Maymester.

    ReplyDelete