Thursday, May 5, 2011

Did You Ever Wonder?????

As I was checking my emails this morning, I got this fwd email from my good friend Laura from the sweet tea diaries. Usually fwd emails are a little lame, but this was one hilarious so I thought I'd share.  I seriously think about this kind of stuff ALL THE TIME!!!

........Did You Ever Wonder........???
  • Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
  • Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's ass."
  • Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
  • Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
  • If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
  • Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the car pool lane?
  • If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
  • Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their ass when they ask where the bathroom is?
  • Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they aregoing to look up there anyway?
  • Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
  • What do you call male ballerinas?
  • Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??
  • If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
  • If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
  • If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
  • If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
  • Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
  • Why does the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Stop singing and read on . . . . . .. . . . .
  • Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
  • Why do they call it an asteroid! when it 's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?
  • Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Aren't these good?  I've heard some of them before, but I've never noticed that ABC's and twinkle twinkle have the same tune...but they def. do.  Anyways...hope you all enjoyed!